First, the drug testers came for the chess players, and we did nothing (http://stopthedrugwar.org/chronicle/199/chesspawns.shtml). And now the inexorable, totalitarian logic of drug prohibition has invaded the laid-back domain of competitive Frisbee, or, in this world leery of copyright infringement, flying discs. The sport's governing body, the World Flying Disc Federation (WFDF), voted May 2nd at its annual conference in Santa Cruz, California, to adopt the World Anti Doping Code, a drug testing regime that will subject Frisbee players to rigorous, Olympic-style drug testing.
Under the anti doping rules adopted by the WFDF, competitive Frisbee-tossers will be punished not only for using performance enhancing steroids, but also for having smoked marijuana within recent days. The rules are not just for international competitors, but to "all member national flying disc associations of WFDF ("Member Associations") and all players participating in the events organized by WFDF or its members."
The drug testing rules are harshing the mellow of some disc enthusiasts. The United Kingdom Flying Disc Association News, warned its readers that even participation in student events sanctioned by the WFDF could get you drug tested.
And that is a real pain, the News complained. "You won't be able to take cough syrups anymore -- almost all of them have a banned substance. You won't be able to sit in a room with someone smoking a spliff for fear of second-hand smoke making it into your bloodstream. If four or more people on your team still have alcohol in their system on Sunday morning, the team can be disqualified and banned for up to two years," the litany continued. "No raving anytime near a tournament. If you are a diabetic or an asthmatic, you will need to fill out forms, have them signed by your doctor, and submit them to a UKUA advisory panel before you can use an inhaler or take insulin (this will probably end up costing an administration fee).
"Unless you research your herbal supplements in a book 1,000 pages long, you won't be able to ascertain whether they are legal," the News went on. "Your wife will be prohibited from taking fertility treatment or anticancer drugs even if she plays on your third team because if tested she could have all three teams disqualified. And it you want to dispute the disqualification you have to take it to the Court of Arbitration for Sport (in Montreal). And this is all before you consider how much extra tournament and UKUA fees will be once you add the cost of drug testing. And let's not forget getting jabbed or having someone watch you pee."
What these whiners fail to understand is that theirs is a small price to pay to make the world safe from Frisbee-related drug scandals. If this prevents one child from growing up to play Frisbee while stoned, it was worth it! And you hacky-sackers, watch out. You're next.
Read the WFDF drug testing announcement and related documents at http://www.wfdf.org/wfdfantidoping.htm online.
View the World Anti Doping Associations list of prohibited substances at http://www.wada-ama.org/en/t3.asp?p=41627&pp=41626 online.