If you work at McDonalds, don’t hide your pot in a Happy Meal. Something bad will happen.

Don't drive drunk if you've got 25 pounds of marijuana in your car. Seriously, you're off the team if you do that. Flex Your Rights will not answer your email.

Also, don't mail 12 pounds of marijuana to a school.

George Michael, who gets arrested frequently for marijuana, now says it should be legal.

Operation Follow Method Man has also produced results this week: the arrest of Method Man for possessing marijuana and driving around super-baked.

In fairness to our cause, I'm not suggesting that marijuana necessarily causes idiocy. But it can become a crutch for the desperate or confused. As for the celebrities, well, it's already clear that celebrities don't exactly need pot to get arrested anyway. Method Man, notwithstanding this unfortunate incident, would probably get arrested more often if not for his frequent relaxation rituals.

Today was a strange day for marijuana news, but tomorrow will tell a different tale. Bad science, violent raids, urine testing, persecuting patients, blocking research, wasting tax dollars, exaggerating harms, and funding the black market; these things -- and so many more -- are the real story and there aren't enough mailing mishaps or celebrity pot busts to distract us from the hideous truth.