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Does Marijuana Make You Better at Sports?

Submitted by smorgan on
The DEA and FBI are working overtime to bust steroid suppliers. Now, the Drug Czar's office has been boasting about the U.S. government's commitment to preventing cheating in sports. So why are they going after the NBA for being too lenient about marijuana use?

Deputy Drug Czar Scott Burns is very proud of the work that's being done to ensure fairness in sports:
The nation's deputy drug czar said Tuesday that the indictment of slugger Barry Bonds in connection with a federal steroids investigation shows the world that the United States remains "the No. 1 country in the world when it comes to going after cheating in sports." [LA Times]
Of course, like so many other aspects of the war on drugs, the war on steroids suddenly morphs into a war on marijuana:
He was especially critical of the NBA's relatively liberal policy on marijuana use, which calls for a maximum five-game suspension for the third and subsequent offenses.

"If Americans knew that you can be a professional high-level athlete and smoke dope and those are the penalties, they would be offended," he said. "For professional athletes that smoke dope, there should be a message that says you don't get to play your sport."
Why not? I don't understand, Mr. Burns. What does this have to do with cheating? Oh boy, does marijuana really make you better at basketball? I have never heard that before. I've heard that it cures cancer, increases fertility, and prevents Alzheimer's, but I did not know that it made you better at sports. That's so awesome.

To be fair, however, I doubt the Deputy Drug Czar actually believes marijuana is a performance-enhancing drug. I think his concerns have more to do with the fact that widespread marijuana use among professional athletes undermines his office's non-stop campaign to convince Americans that using marijuana will weaken their bodies and ruin their futures.

With that in mind, I would highly recommend to the folks at the Drug Czar's office that they immediately stop trying to drug test athletes for marijuana. After all, if you don't want the kids to find out that their favorite athletes smoke pot, you can begin by not drug testing those athletes or complaining publicly about their rampant marijuana use.

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