Warning: People Who Eat Tortillas Might be Marijuana Growers

The panic over escalating outdoor marijuana cultivation just climbed about five notches on the absurdity scale. I feel bad for laughing because there's nothing funny about racial profiling or our failed marijuana policy, but it's just so ridiculous I can't help myself:

DENVER - A federal warning to beware of campers in national forests who eat tortillas, drink Tecate beer and play Spanish music because they could be armed marijuana growers is racial profiling, an advocate for Hispanic rights said Friday.

The warnings were issued Wednesday by the U.S. Forest Service, which is investigating how much marijuana is being illegally cultivated in Colorado's national forests following the recent discovery of more than 14,000 plants in Pike National Forest.

"That's discriminatory, and it puts Hispanic campers in danger," said Polly Baca, co-chairwoman of the Colorado Latino Forum. [AP]

No kidding. It also puts me in danger, being that it's only been a month since I last enjoyed tortillas and Mexican beer on a camping trip. The whole thing is so preposterous one scarcely knows where to begin:

Marvink Correa, spokesman for the Colorado Immigrant Rights Coalition, said federal officials are painting an unfair stereotype of Hispanics.

"When I go camping, I'll be sure to play nothing but Bruce Springsteen," he said.

He's sort of joking, but this is a seriously messed up situation. The government can't go around telling everyone to watch out for folks who play Spanish music outdoors. That kind of hysteria has a tendency to get innocent people hurt. Campgrounds are already filled with paranoid drunken weirdos and they definitely don't need any encouragement to start flipping out on each other.

The whole stupid war on marijuana in this country started as an ill-conceived xenophobic attack on Mexican culture and it seems we've now come full-circle. This is a disaster and it wouldn’t be happening if our marijuana policy weren't such a mind-bending theater of idiocy and intolerance. If we don't want Mexicans – or anyone else – growing pot in our national parks, then the only solution is to let the American people grow their own marijuana on private property.