Trust is not one of the things an undercover cop has a lot of

I spent 12 years working undercover drugs, in the beginning we were told this was a war, and the enemy was drugs. We were lead to believe we could somehow stop drugs and save America, but it didn’t work out that way. Today I feel our drug war was lost long ago. This isn’t a war on drugs, its war on the American people. When I quit working drug enforcement, I was diagnosed with PTSD. It’s getting better, but it’s still hard for me to be around a lot of people. Trust is not one of the things an undercover cop has a lot of to begin with. It’s so confusing, it was the best job I ever had, and the worst job I ever had. I feel guilty about the damage I did to people and families, especially the kids. Don’t get me wrong, we caught some serious bad guys, but most were just young kids, or the guy next door. In the beginning of the drug war, the 70’s and 80’s, there were a lot of screwed up drug operations, so there are a lot of screwed undercover cops out there. Unlike the military, if you get fed up and quit, because of death threats, crooked department, or just get fed up with U/C work, there is no help for police veterans after they leave their police agency. I spent two years as a speaker for LEAP, Law Enforcement Against Prohibition. I got through my LEAP talks by having someone I know close. It wasn’t easy at first, but found I could get out and do the talks. It was very important to me to be a speaker for LEAP speaking out against the drug war. I feel speaking out against this un-winnable war can somehow makeup for some of the damage I did working undercover. I left LEAP for personal reasons in 2007, but hope to go back. Today the government wants you to think by waging the drug war they’re somehow controlling illegal drugs. The truth is the only one controlling the purity of drugs, where drugs are sold, to what age group, and where the profits go, are drug dealers. Let’s end this war against Americans, and work on our real enemies.