Drug Czar Creates Handy Guide For Teens on Where To Obtain Prescription Drugs

Oddly, the Drug Czar has created a new webpage that offers great tips for any teen looking to catch a buzz. The page claims to be a warning guide for parents, but the potentially deadly secrets contained within it are available for anyone to see. I was able to access all of the site's content without even being asked to verify that I'm over 18.

I've learned to steal drugs from the elderly because they don't monitor their pill count or throw away leftovers because they're super old and confused. Also, there's like a billion websites that don't even check prescriptions and will send me anything. I'm gonna go cure my boreditis now. Thanks, Office of National Drug Control Policy!
United States
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Funny things happen when stuff is prohibited

The Drug Czar’s new webpage is reminiscent of many other infamous attempts to classify the All-Stars of previous prohibitions.

The Reagan era Meese Commission Report (1986) was designed to create shock and awe—and thus vast moral outrage—by its graphic descriptions of pornographic films and materials, only to become one of the best indexed summary guides to porn films published up until that time.

Then there was the Index Librorum Prohibitorum published by the Catholic Church until the mid-1960s, a list of everything the Church did not want Catholics to read.  Naturally, the Prohibitorum became the ultimate reading list for those seeking great works of literature, science and philosophy:  Defoe’s Robinson Crusoe, anyone?—no kidding.

We know what’s said about people who do the same thing over and over again expecting a different result.  But is the Drug Czar really crazy enough to think that his little webpage will not be made into a full size poster that’s taped to college dormitory walls throughout the country—should I say it?—throughout the academic world?

Whether he knew what he was doing or not, congratulations are due Drug Czar John Walters for giving this country what it’s always needed—a good five-cent druggie!


Don't forget the whipped cream...

"In addition to safeguarding your medications, be sure to monitor the number of beer cans, wine and other alcohol bottles, as well as *whipped cream cans* in your refrigerator and elsewhere in your home."


Uh, yeah. Not to mention that some of the best drug hiding places weren't even covered in this slideshow!

Of course he's crazy enough...

But what if this new drug guide, and the old one mentioned by Giordano, are merely ways for drug czars to keep their jobs? I mean, if you're going to serve a market, why not create it and keep it bustling? Of course, that would mean John Waters et al. are not as crazy as they appear. But God knows there are bat-shit crazies lurking in his flock, and maybe exposing them is just a head's up to all us sane ones...

John Waters?

John Waters?

The director of Pink Flamingos?

Great website.

Parents should assume their kids know everything and take action to keep their kids off drugs. No playing around.

keeping kids off drugs

As has been stated so many times, the kids have more access to drugs, now, than alcohol and cigarettes. I guess no one on th other side has realized, yet, that they have failed at protecting my kids. I had to do it myself, by being honest with them!

The more things change,

the more they stay the same.

I guess I led a sheltered life -- this was in the early 60's -- I didn't even know that there were illegal drugs until 6th grade, when a "drug education" film showed us how to shoot heroin AND how to get money for our habit -- steal it from Gramdma's purse.

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