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I used to be Dignified

I used to be a very dignified person. I studied art history, aesthetics and literature in college. I graduated 3rd in my class and was awarded almost every award available to me at the time. I raised a wonderful daughter who is a classical musician. My husband and I decided to re-start our family when our daughter was 16 because we had the resources to provide a nurturing and loving environment to our children. I've been a stay-at-home mom now for 9 years and I homeschool my 5 youngest children using a modified classical curriculum. But, I'm not dignified any longer. I have been reduced to living in an iron cage of a body with no hope in sight. I desperately need relief, but I can't let on how desperate this need is because it might be a "red flag." I have been accused of crimes, shouted at, and berated by a doctor who is supposed to be a pain specialist. My mind keeps wandering between resigning myself to the pain and absolute humiliation. I have gone over a conversation with my doctor a thousand times in my head, but I know when the time comes I will just be agreeable so that I can avoid any further embarrassment. I have had about five hours of sleep in the last three days. My legs and arm won't stop shaking and I have the feeling of my whole body being squeezed at once. If I could go back in time to when I met my last doctor (before I had to move), I wouldn't have accepted any pain management. The problem, you see, is I now know exactly what I'm missing. How cruel is the world when I weep at the memory of being able to hold my children on my lap a month ago.
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Dear lady,

You don't say exactly what your medical condition is, but you are surely aware that Cannabis medicine can help with chronic pain in many cases, and can help you regain your sense of self and dignity.

You don't say what state you're in, but eleven states and counting -- is it up to 14 in just this last week? -- have at least some form of protection for medical marijuana users, if not the facilities offered in the fair land of California.

You say that the world is cruel, but the world gives us this wonderful natural medicine, and would gladly give it for free. It is our government which is cruel. It should not embarrass any of us to defy it, and to seek to change it.

You sound like a strong and intelligent person, as well as a dignified one; a mother of 6 children would need strength and perseverance. You are not alone. Hold up your head, and fight back against these ridiculous laws, and the prejudices of the ignorant, uninformed, and gullible!

Best wishes,
Mariann Wizard

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