An Utter Fantasy

I wrote this for the foks in my church, about what it could be like if our religion was permitted to evangelize like other religions through the RFRA. I thought you might like it too. Our church has a web site: http://zzco.org Just a flight of fancy: Two individuals, Adam and Eve, are going door-to-door to tell people about the great thing that Jah has done for His children: (Adam knocks): Knock, knock (door opens and a bewildered individual, Joe, looks out, while his wife, Mary, looks on from behind him) Adam: Good morning brother. We are walking through your neighborhood today to witness about the great gift which God has bestowed upon us all. Joe: What gift is that? Adam: The gift with the power to cure illnesses, the relief from the stresses caused by the hectic nature of life, and the door to spiritual awakening. Eve: (softly) amen. Joe: I don't follow. What do you mean? Adam: The Lord God, one and holy, gave us an herb by which we would better come to know Him and His glory. Eve: But "He" and "Him" are just English conventions, God is by nature without specific gender. Adam: God gave us this herb for the good of all, and we have brought some with us to share with you. Joe: What 'herb' do you mean? Adam: We mean the tree of life, cannabis, marijuana, pot. Have you ever tried it? Joe: No. Adam: Did you know that Jesus' title, the "Christ" came from the holy anointing oil, "chrism"? Joe: Yes. Eve: Did you know that chrism was made with marijuana? Joe: (alarmedly) NO! Adam: Yes, it's true. Moses came down from the mountain with Jah's knowledge imparted to him, and he wrote down the recipe for us to use. Mary (from behind, but moving up to be with Joe in the doorway): No, I know that passage, and there is no cannabis in that recipe. Eve: You must be using one of the many mistranslations, like the King James Bible, which took from the mistranslated Septuagint. The people of Jah didn't want to hand over His sacred herb to the Greeks, so they told the Greeks to use calamus instead (giggles). Mary: Oh. Eve (continues after a brief pause): The original Hebrew text is very clear. If you pronounce the name of the holy herb, it is clearly the same word as we use today, but in a Hebrew grammar: 'kaneh-bosm'. "M" is to Hebrew what "S" is to English. It is how they make a plural. A single plant would be 'kaneh-bos'. They needed a lot of plants to make chrism, so it's 'bosm' instead of just 'bos'. Adam: And if you look at the history, this is the first recorded use of the word 'cannabis'. The other languages which took this word took it as a singular noun, while it is a phrase in Hebrew. Kaneh means 'cane' and 'bos' means 'fragrant'. That proves that word is Hebrew in origin. Joe: What do you mean? The Jews discovered cannabis? Eve: No, Jah revealed himself to many cultures in many ways using many names. But his revelation to Moses was special in that He began His intent to let us know that He was one, He was holy, and we were His, which was continued through to Jesus' message that 'I am in the Father and the Father is in me.' Mary: So you discount all the other religions which use cannabis? Adam: No, we complete those religions. It doesn't matter whether you call Him Jah, or God, or Allah, or Ganesh, or Shiva, or whatever. His actual name is beyond the capacity of humans to pronounce, or even apprehend, but it can be stated as a phrase, "I am He who is." Eve: It doesn't even matter if you call Him 'Her', it's all the same. Even if you connect with Him through a pantheistic, polytheistic, or even atheistic manner, when you connect, you are one with Him. Joe: What? How can an atheist connect with God? Eve: Many atheists, like, for example, Carl Sagan, while denying the identity, apprehend the beauty of Jah, and Jah doesn't hold a grudge in these matters. If one wants to merely appreciate the world for its presence, Jah is ok with that, and will pour out that aspect of His glory to fill that cup. Mary: What, are you telling me that Carl Sagan was a pothead? Adam: Yes. And Jah poured His understanding into Carl as a result. He gives as much grace as we are willing to accept, but no more. He knows our limitations better than we ourselves do. Eve: But we aren't here to TELL you about Jah's gift, we came to bestow it upon you, if you would like. Joe: What do you mean by that, you are going to give us pot? Adam: Yes, that's why we are walking the neighborhood today. We can talk about it all day long, but that won't be as simple as letting you find out for yourselves by direct experience. Eve: I made some wonderful cookies. We have oatmeal, chocolate-chip, and shortbread. Adam: They are all made with ghee. We have some jars of it for you to use in cooking if you want. Eve: It's good to rub on your joints too, if you have arthritis. Adam: And we have some non-arthritic joints (giggles with Eve), and bags of buds if you used a pipe or a vaporizer. Eve didn't mention it, but Jah's gift is particularly useful for women, both monthly and during pregnancy. Eve: Oh boy, is it useful. Queen Victoria took it every day. Adam: Since you haven't used any pot yet, you surely don't have a vaporizer, but you can come down to the temple if you want. We have one running twenty four by seven, so the atmosphere is saturated there. Adam: Yeah, all you have to do is come in, and sit down, and wait. Eve: At the temple, we have a stove so we can make fresh Bhang, too. Adam: Do you smoke? Joe: I do, but Mary doesn't. She's worried about my smoking because of cancer. Adam: You might not know this yet, but pot doesn't cause cancer, and it cures many cancers caused by other things. Eve: Well, we should probably leave you some joints for yourself, and some cookies for Mary, or ghee if you would rather not eat all those calories. Mary: I don't think we could do that, we're Catholics. We shouldn't abandon our religion. Adam: You don't have to. The Catholic faith has a long history of cannabis use in the eastern traditions where our sect originated, so it's ok. We don't want to upset you, or even try to convince you that our fuller understanding needs to replace your Catholicism in order for you to enjoy the gift which Jah has bestowed on us. Eve: Yes, if you find that marijuana enhances your understanding of your own Catholicism, then we were successful in our mission to your house. Adam: I would suggest that you, Joe, smoke a couple of joints and read the Gospel of John. Eve: I think you should both consider going to Saturday evening mass to get your obligation out of the way, then eat some cookies and go again on Sunday morning. The songs, the sermon, the whole experience will be fresh and new, like it has never been before. Even the candles will sparkle more brightly, and the bells will chime more clearly. Adam: I think that's a great idea, Eve. Joe: But what would that do for your church? Why would you want to take the time and effort to tell us all this, and give us all this, and not get us to come to your church? Mary (echoing): Yes, why? Adam: Because we ARE doing this for our church. You are in it, regardless. If your own religious experience has been enhanced, then we have done our job. Eve: Yes, it's the Cao-Dai pledge. We are working with many other affiliated sects across the globe to find our way back to the one, the whole, the thing which we know we all have parts of, but which none of us can yet comprehend in our human forms. Adam: So, if we help you become more committed, involved, spiritual Catholics, we got you that much closer to God. Eve: Besides, not everyone is ready to accept the responsibility of being one of us. Joe: What does that mean? Eve: I'm sorry, but some aspects of our religion we cannot discuss with the uninitiated. Adam: Yes, if you would like to come down to the temple sometime, after you have had some period of time to acclimatize yourselves to the fuller awareness of Jah the herb bestows, we would be happy to go into the ramifications, our beliefs and such, but to do so without you already having apprehended the depth of the mystery would be cruel. Eve: Yes, it would be. Adam: Like giving matches to children. Eve: But we do have all these gifts, and we would like to offer them to you in the hope that someday you will want to know more. Adam: And until you do, you are always welcome to come down to the temple to get more. When you are ready to come to stay, you will know. Eve: amen. Adam: So would you like cookies? ghee? joints? Joe (enthusiastically): I think I'd like to try some joints. Mary: I might even try one of those, too, since they're safe, but I would really like to try the cookies and maybe some ghee. Eve: That's great. The cookies go great with Bhang, but we can't make that here, and back at the temple, we have brownies, too, but we can't take them with us 'cause they smush too easily. Adam: Maybe you can drop by some Sunday before mass and have some. Eve (counting out items into a paper bag): Ok, that's two dozen cookies, a half-pint of ghee, and twenty joints. Adam: That should be enough to get you on your way. Eve: Speaking of that, Adam, we should be getting on our way, too. Adam: Yes, we wanted to finish this whole side of the street before dark, and you are only the sixth house we have stopped at, and we have already spent the most of the day and used up almost all our supplies. Eve: I was surprised. We were greeted with such love and understanding at almost every house. I thought this would be harder than it was. Adam: I thought they would all be like that deputy sheriff's house. Eve: Boy, was he livid. Adam: Yeah, but he still took a dozen cookies and as many joints. Joe (accepting the bag): Well, thanks for coming by. Mary: Yes, thanks for sharing with us. Adam: Anytime. Please come by the temple whenever you want, the address is on the flyer in the bag. Eve: Yes, and if you would like, bring your pastor, we would love to meet him. Adam: May Jah's peace and understanding flow from his blessed herb through your souls. Eve: Peace be unto you both. (both walk off down the sidewalk) Joe, Mary (waving): Goodbye. Thank you!