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The Potradictions of Life in Amsterdam...

The Potradictions of Life in Amsterdam Not many people realize that marijuana was never legalized in Holland, it is just permitted, and even then only in certain places... Here I am in lovely Vondel Park in Amsterdam. Its a sun-shiny, blue sky day. I get nervous around a lot of people sometimes. There are a lot of people here today. The grass is filled with the sun worshippers. I sit down in a far corner of a patch of grass and start to roll a joint. Smoking marijuana relaxes me. Heck, usually just the process of preparing my smoke and rolling the joint relaxes me. Not this time, however. I haven't even pulled a paper from the packet when out of the corner of my vision I see two uniforms heading my way briskly. I know this can't be happening. It can't be what I think it is. They must be heading towards some destination that I am directly in the path of. This turns out to be wishful thinking. Two pair of shiny black shoes have now stopped in front of me. I continue to prepare my joint. I hear a "Maneer, blah blah blah blah blah blah" coming from the owners of one of the pair of shoes. Adrenaline pumping, I look up with a puzzling expression. Both cops are typical Dutch Blonds. They both look like they just stepped off of a Playboy shoot. Hard to believe that they are really police officers. But, they are. And now they are asking me in English, "What is that you are doing?" My mind suddenly fills with all kinds of quirky little come-back answers to that question, ranging from, "I am baking a cake" to "You mean not even YOU know?" I start to giggle. I bite my tongue and mind my manners. It is best not to fuck around with foreign police in strange countries. Hell, it is best not to fuck around with any police in any country. I just can't help being caught up in the giggles, between the two amazingly beautiful women in uniforms, this being Amsterdam and the question they just asked. I hold a finger aloft. NOT that one!... the index finger, indicating a universally, "please give me a moment to..." The cop with the grey-green eyes nods in acknowledgement, as I start to fish through my backpack for my vial of cannabis and my medical paperwork. The blue eyed beauty asks, "Is that marijuana?" The polite response would be, "Yes, and it is very tasty. would you like some?" But I mind my manners. The giggles grow and my mind starts tossing around dumb-blond jokes. It is best if I do not say a word just yet. I hand them over my papers and vial. I compose myself. I give them a moment to read and ponder what it was I just handed to them and I say, very gently, "This is marijuana in front of me, but I got it at the pharmacy." They inspect my paperwork again, hand back my stuff, and say, "Well there is nothing here we can do then, your doctor says you can have that." The smile in my mind widens as I ask aloud, "What would have just happened if I didn't have my paperwork or prescription bottle?" "We would have had to write you a ticket for public smoking" blue eyes replies. They start to stroll away. A group of sunbathers to my left are applauding. It makes me more uncomfortable. I do appreciate the support, however an accolade in earshot of the departing cops seemed a bit 'loud' for the moment. They must be Americans. I smile in their direction, flash a thumbs-up and shrug my shoulders. This whole scene seems almost unreal to me. I mean, I AM in Amsterdam, after all. I finish rolling, light up, and ponder the situation... It seems awfully unfair for them to let the world believe that this is a 'free zone' for drugs when that just isn't so. Yes, there are still a bunch of coffeshops and they all sell weed and hash to whoever is of age that wants it, but I have never heard anyone warned about 'smoking in public' when they purchase. I wonder how long they have been enforcing this? Maybe they have been the whole time I have been here and just never noticed or was caught up in it before? I don't know, and as I smoke and relax, it doesn't seem to matter much either way right now. At least those cops were beautiful to look at. That must have been officers "Mary" and "Jane" on park pot patrol. END.
Permission to Reprint: This article is licensed under a modified Creative Commons Attribution license.
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