Ok Everyone, This Town Will be Drug Free Starting…Now
It looks like the party is almost over for the hippies of Salem, NJ. It's come to the attention of local law enforcement that some people have been doing drugs, so police are breaking out the heavy artillery:
SALEM -- In a tug-of-war for the future of the city's youth, police took a hard pull on Tuesday, setting up half a dozen road signs to let everyone know illicit substances are not welcome here. [Salem County News]
Neighboring towns soon reported an influx of panic-stricken losers, as they fled Salem in droves to escape the coming purge. "This is bullshit," one hippie was overheard exclaiming. "I was on my way home from the park when I saw the sign. Figured I better leave now before all the drugs are totally gone."
Police are thrilled with the immediate results. "We debated for weeks over whether the right number of signs was 5 or 6," said Salem City Police Ptl. John Colon. "This outcome really vindicates everyone who argued for 6 signs. It may seem excessive, but I think the community will thank us next week when their children become completely invincible."
In case the signs don't completely eliminate Salem's drug problem, officials have drawn up blueprints for a giant metal box where they'll trap the drug users.
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Comment posted by Anonymous on Sun, 09/06/2009 - 6:54pmSign, sign, everywhere a sign, blocking out the scenery, blocking my mind, do this, don't do that, can't you read the sign.
No more drug war just read the sign!
If signs are the answer... why stop there?
Comment posted by Anonymous on Wed, 09/09/2009 - 2:41pmA briliiant plan that works everywhere it's been tried! In fact I saw a dare cop drive by my office 2 days ago and i haven't smoked anything since... even contemplated turning myself in for re-educational punishment in the prison system!
But why stop with just 1 sign? Why not post another sign underneath advocating turning oneself in for punishment for such evil indescretions... like consuming drugs SAFER than alcohol?
Put a real suit on those guys and they'd look like players... goodfellows in the organized crime of punishing peaceful patrons.
Must Stay Awake,
Thomas Paine IVXX
B.S. Police are punishers!
Check the original story's picture -- classic
Comment posted by George on Thu, 09/03/2009 - 11:01amThe link to the article has a picture that's priceless -- yeah, I'm sure this will do the trick after spending a trillion dollars over the last century on prohibitionist policies and locking up millions of drug offenders has failed to deter use...yeah, right! Those cops are being laughed at by the community, and everybody knows DARE is a complete failure...it's been all over the news.
- George