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Michael Phelps Faces Possible Prosecution for Bong Hit

Submitted by smorgan on
I swear, if you give these drug war idiots enough rope…

Authorities will file criminal charges if the investigation determines that they are warranted, a spokesman said Tuesday.

"If someone breaks the law in Richland County, we have an obligation as law enforcement to investigate and to bring charges," Sheriff Leon Lott said in a statement.

"The Richland County Sheriff's Department is making an effort to determine if Mr. Phelps broke the law. If he did, he will be charged in the same manner as anyone else. The sheriff has a responsibility to be fair, to enforce the law and to not turn a blind eye because someone is a celebrity." [CNN]

Yeah, right. Because I’m so sure that if a picture of some random dude taking a bong hit showed up on the sheriff’s desk, he’d put his best detectives on the case immediately. The rank stupidity of this was summed up nicely by Whoopi Goldberg of all people:

Elisabeth Hasselbeck is turning Michael Phelps into her own personal crusade: This morning on The View, she started hammering away at the alleged-bong-hitting Olympic star for his "illegal action," saying his example "takes the wind out of any mom trying to teach her children" good values.

"If he wasn't  Michael Phelps, wouldn't he be in jail?" she added.
"No," said Whoopi Goldberg, "because [if he wasn't Phelps], his picture wouldn't have been in the newspapers!"

As if the ritualistic public shaming of Michael Phelps weren’t sufficiently and self-evidently brainless to begin with, we must now watch in complete bewilderment as law-enforcement willfully exposes its arbitrary application of our drug laws. Putting aside my sympathy for Phelps, it’s more than a little delightful to observe such a public exhibit in the frivolity of marijuana enforcement.

They can’t prove anything and they know it, thus this is really just another pitifully ill-conceived attention grab by a frustrated sheriff who can’t stand not being at the center of a story unfolding in his backyard. Seldom has the war on drugs produced a more ironic moment than when the healthiest person on the planet is targeted for taking one bong hit.

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