Seriously, just don't. Because if you mention drugs to children for any purpose other than to terrify them, you'll make national news for being a bastard.

That's exactly what happened to a high school teacher in New Mexico who mentioned meth on a math test. From KOB-TV.com:

Teacher Will Klundt’s question reads: “Smoky J. sells meth. Smoky’s source says he has to sell a G’s worth of meth by the end of the month. If Smoky sold $245 the first week and $532 the second week, how much money must Smoky still make if he wants to avoid the beat down from his connection?”

...

[Moriarty High School Principal] Marshall refused to discuss what, if any, disciplinary action will be or has been taken against Klundt.

Could this be because there isn't yet a rule against innocuous acknowledgements that drug dealers exist? Surely the school board must now convene to determine the appropriate sanction for teachers who mention drugs without adding, in the same breath, that they'll turn you into a walking freak show. This is necessary, because the hippies that pass for teachers these days aren’t worth the aluminum it takes to roll 'em out of town in a trashcan.

Meanwhile, the American Medical Association thinks that movies should be rated 'R' if they depict smoking. They got the idea from a study showing that kids who watch movies are more likely to smoke, or some such nonsense. I don't know. I refuse to even read that crap.

You could write a book about how stupid this is, consisting mostly of long chapters listing activities more dangerous than smoking that are allowed in 'PG' movies. But it's preferable to censorship for those of us old enough to watch whatever movies we want. I'd rather watch I Love Lucy on the Playboy Channel than have to explain to a child why Ricky Ricardo's hand is blurry all the time.

The 'slippery slope' problem presents itself here, but this level of hysteria is typically reserved for drugs, sex, and trans fats. To its credit, NPR gave airtime this morning to the idea that excessive eating is just as deserving of an 'R' rating as cigarette smoking. I grinned for a moment, but then paused to wonder if maybe they should shut up about that.