Oh, lord, where to begin? The tweaker deputy sheriff stealing his supply from the evidence room? The sticky-fingered narc who got stung? The cop so cozy with his informant he was providing her with drugs he stole from his own wife? There's all that and more, this week -- including, of course, a crooked jail guard. Let's get to it:

[inline:evidenceroom2.jpg align=left caption="Is something missing from the evidence room?"]In Chaska, Minnesota, a Carver County sheriff's deputy was charged Tuesday with stealing methamphetamine from the department's evidence room for his own use. Daniel David Kahlow, 47, is charged with removing evidence and second degree drug possession of six grams or more of meth. He was arrested after being videotaped entering and leaving the evidence room on May 9, a day he was not scheduled to work. Kahlow admitted dressing in baggy clothes in a bid to hide his identity and that he had been using for about a year. Police found 23 grams and a glass pipe on him when he was arrested. The 18-year-veteran deputy is now sitting in the Wright County Jail awaiting a bond hearing.

In Norristown, Pennsylvania, a Montgomery County jail guard was arrested last Saturday along with a prisoner and the inmate's mother for delivering drugs to the inmate. Guard Mathew Knowles, 31, and the mother and son all are charged with possession with intent to deliver a controlled substance, criminal attempt, criminal use of a communication facility, conspiracy, possession of drug paraphernalia, controlled substance contraband to confined persons, and several other charges -- as if the first batch weren't enough. Prosecutors said Knowles got Oxycontin from the inmate's mother on several occasions and began smuggling it and other contraband into the jail in February. He went down after another inmate snitched the operation out and authorities listened in to phone and visitation calls between the inmate and the mother that confirmed the snitch's tale. Further confirmation came when prison officials searched the inmate's cell and found Oxycontin. Knowles has not made bail and is on the other side of the bars at the Lehigh County Prison.

In Manhattan, Kansas, a Riley County Police narcotics officer was arrested May 20 on official misconduct and theft charges. Officer Mark Bylkas, a four-year veteran, is charged with of two felony counts of official misconduct and two felony counts of theft. He was released on $10,000 bond. The County Police provided no information on the specifics of what Bylkas is alleged to have done, except to say that the arrest came as part of an ongoing investigation involving the Kansas Bureau of Investigation and the state attorney general's office.

In Pass Christian, Mississippi, a Harrison County sheriff's deputy was arrested May 20 on what look to be drug-related charges, although the sheriff's office is staying mum. Deputy Ronald Roach, 34, was charged with felony counts of extortion and hindrance of prosecution by rendering criminal assistance. He went down after an investigation by the department, the Harrison County Narcotics Unit, and the Mississippi Bureau of Narcotics. Roach was jailed on a $50,000 bond pending an initial appearance.

In Duncan, Oklahoma, a former Marlow police officer was indicted May 20 on two counts of perjury by a multicounty grand jury. Rodney Richards, who was fired in February, is charged with lying in an affidavit and on the witness stand in a methamphetamine trafficking case last October. Prosecutors accuse Richards of lying about facts involving jurisdictional issues, allegations a police radio had been tampered with, and confiscated meth that had gone missing. He's now out on a $10,000 bond.

In Madison, Wisconsin, a state Justice Department narcotics officer pleaded guilty in federal court Tuesday to taking the bait in an FBI sting operation. Johnny Santiago stole about $1,100 that FBI agents had planted in a vacant Milwaukee storefront that he was sent to search, then led FBI agents on a chase to the Milwaukee High Intensity Drug Task Force building, where he was arrested. That was in March, he resigned as a narc in April, and now, he's copped a plea. He faces up to 10 years in prison and a $250,000 fine.

In Boulder, Colorado, a former Longmont police officer was sentenced last Friday to probation for giving prescription drugs to an informant. Jack Kimmett, 54, has to report to authorities for two years, perform 80 hours of public service, pay a $750 fine, write a letter of apology to the Longmont Police Department, and obey a "no contact" order regarding the informant. The informant, a separated married woman, denied a sexual relationship with Kimmett, but later acknowledged that he paid her rent and bills. Fellow officers watched Kimmett give Vicodin to the informant, then arrested him. He was originally charged with two counts of felony drug possession, two misdemeanor theft counts and first-degree official misconduct. Those charges were dismissed as part of a plea agreement, which also stipulated he would not serve jail time.