As I read through my Google News alerts each day, I usually just ignore the multitudes of petty drug arrests that made headlines for no reason. But this one jumped out at me:

Police: Winston-Salem man had ecstasy pill

Gastonia Police arrested a Winston-Salem man Saturday and charged him with having the party drug ecstasy.

Jasmon Delshon Mackey, 27, of the 2200 block of Bethabara Point in Winston-Salem, was arrested at the Kingsway convenience store at 1418 W. Garrison Blvd. He had one ecstasy pill, according to a police affidavit. [Gaston Gazette]

Who cares? Why is this in the newspaper? It shouldn’t even be a crime, but if it is, one would hope you’d have to have more than, say, one pill in order to find your name in the f#%king newspaper.

The only thing newsworthy about this is the embarrassing fact that possession of one ecstasy pill is apparently a serious crime that can only be resolved by a whole team of criminal justice professionals.

Mackey was charged with felony possession of a Schedule I controlled substance. He was jailed on a $20,000 bond.

For having a pill whose side effects include happiness, empathy, and dancing.