A decorated ex-cop who claimed he tested positive for cocaine because he ingested the drug during oral sex with his girlfriend can't have his job back, a Manhattan judge has ruled.
Supreme Court Justice Eileen Rakower last month shot down helicopter pilot Jon Goldin's attempt to overturn his April 2008 dismissal from the NYPD.
Goldin, a 15-year veteran, tested positive for cocaine in October 2006 in a random drug test using hairs from his arm.
Goldin's lawsuit said the cocaine in his system was the product of "passive ingestion" from performing oral sex on girlfriend Coreen McCarthy, who, once he tested positive, admitted to him that she was a regular cocaine user. [New York Daily News]
Needless to say, this cocaine-ingested-through-oral-sex line sounds like the laugh-out-loud lame excuse of the century. I'm highly inclined to doubt that such a thing is even remotely possible, but as to the question of whether or not the officer was actually using cocaine, I don’t know what to think. If his colleagues are to be believed, the story on this guy is that he's well known for not doing drugs. Supposedly, he's an "adherent of the 'straight edge' lifestyle that rejects substance use" and everyone knows he doesn't get high:
More than 70 friends went to bat for the ex-cop, saying they had never seen him take even a sip of coffee and that he abstained at bars while others drank booze.
I don't know these people, but I trust them more than I trust the drug test itself, because drug tests are bullshit. They're just not accurate. If a bunch of people come forward complaining that someone got railroaded by a drug test, I'm going to assume that's exactly what happened. It's happened before.
Notwithstanding the absurdity of the officer's crazy oral sex explanation, I wouldn’t be at all surprised if he's the innocent victim of a false positive drug test result. If officer Goldin is telling the truth, then it's worth taking a moment to contemplate the irony that a cop who lives by a vehement anti-drug philosophy ended up getting screwed over by one of the numerous fraudulent technologies designed to ruin the lives of drug users.
I wonder what he thinks of the drug war now, after finding himself on the receiving end of its virtually infinite incompetence.